zen and the art of home pest management - part i

One of the things I was hoping to get out of this experience is a better appreciation of what I take for granted. Well check that one off, I got it, and then some.

As far as things go, sure there are things Stateside I appreciate more now—bread without bugs in it, movie houses that show something other than Bolliwood films and Chuck Norris-type circa-1988 macho movies (not that I'm knocking Bolliwood films, they're great fun and any film where the bad guy breaks into dance is AOK I say, but variety is a beautiful thing you know?), dental procedures with the aid of pain killers, icecream more than once every three months—yeah there are things I'm going to appreciate a whole lot more when I get back. But more than that, beyond it and at the root of it, is what it means to have the luck to be living above the level of need. Like for instance, when I tried turning my patch of side yard weeds into a garden and some neighbor kids started helping me pull out plants, very enthusiastically. I tried to stop them from tearing out some plants I wanted to keep, ones I figured were going to pop out nice flowers eventually.

"O'owooye," I said (that means no and it's one of my favorite words ever) as I mimed pulling up the plants. "These ones are pretty."

"But...you can't eat them."

"I don't want to eat them. They're pretty. O'owooye."

"But...you can't eat them."

Well they refused to be convinced, and as I looked at the poor uprooted plants later I tried to figure out why. I think maybe I got it. It didn't make sense to them; why waste time and energy taking care of something that's not going to fill the belly? I'm sure they thought they were doing a big favor for the poor silly porto. Beauty is a luxury, food and safety are the real concerns. People are really into weeding their yards but only because snakes live in tall grass (don't worry I haven't ever seen any in my area--and besides, now there's absolutely nothing to hide in). Everyone has a garden but there’s nothing ornamental about it, it's always all food. Needs first, and beauty, that comes much later.

I had a similar experience with ants. I am at war with them in my house, a very hard thing to do when the walls are adobe i.e. mud and the floor is cracked concrete laid on dirt. I asked my neighbor what she does to get rid of ants, but she didn't understand the word in French and I didn't know it in Pulaar. I tried to describe them without luck--spiders? she guessed. Scorpions? Other scary insects I hadn't heard of before but was now terrified were living in every corner of my house? Finally I gave up on the verbal communication and took her into my house and pointed.

"Oh, kumujojo. But...they don't bite."

"I know, but I don't like them and I want them to leave."

"But...they don't bite."

So lesson #2 is that there's a line between harm and inconvenience and if something doesn't cross it well what's the problem again? But there's a time for acceptance and a time for action and ant invasions, yeah this is an action situation. So...any good home remedies out there?